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Great write-up.
Worth highlighting for folks faced with an ultimatum:
"If I had to give only one bit of advice to anyone ever faced with an ultimatum from someone with power over them (be it an employer or abusive romantic partner), it would be:
Ultimately, never choose the one giving you an ultimatum."
And for leaders considering giving an ultimatum:
“Trust arrives on foot and leaves on horseback. (An old dutch proverb)”