No kidding. Add in chocolate and it gets really weird.

Coffee is bad because it is a hot drink

What about hot cocoa?

Oh, that’s fine. It’s because coffee has caffeine.

Like Mt. Dew?

No, that’s fine. It’s because coffee is caffeinated and hot.

So a frappacino is fine?

No, because it’s a coffee. Hot caffeine.

So, decalf.

No. Just follow the prophet.

(Sigh. And I don’t even like coffee).

The real reason is “the prophet said so, so just obey without question”